Sombre tears failed by a wishing star
Sombre Tears
I used to cry those sombre tears, collecting them on my cheeks and clothing
Counting the number of times they appeared in reverence to you
I used to cry those sombre tears on night of prearranged dinners that always failed.
The sombre tears used to appear at Christmas time, when the food was oozing with my love pride and undivided attention.
But you’d stay up there enjoying some drunken stupor.
How many times?
Will I sit up waiting for you anxiously anticipating your death.
Night after night you swan out the door assured that I will be here on your return.
What is your assurance based on I ask?
Is it purely based on my dependency on you for financial security?
Or do you deceive yourself and hope that I still love you.
I ponder sometimes over whether the alcohol has spared you any sense of feeling.
Your pride has been degraded even become unclassified, I propose it became lost the moment you were upgraded to certified alcoholic.
This brings me to the questions I began with.
How many times? How many times do I keep loving you? How many time can I stop loving you and the love be resuscitated
.
I leave your dinner on the table, my labour of love and you still eat it.
So tell me is it a sick appreciation you are showing by enjoying it or
Is it simply the hunger pulling at your stomach strings.
I mean just what is it that you do when your gone for hours on end
Are you drunk in a club somewhere? Drowning in your half achieved happiness
I have so many questions to ask , but I mince them when you clamber in bed beside me. Wreaking of the worlds vileness. You say Night dear so I suppose a shred of decency still lingers among what’s left of your alcohol destroyed brain.
As for during the day , I don’t see you ,your like a ghost in a B&B haunting at unsociable hours, disappearing like a vapour when I turn around. Your love almost ceases to exist in the face of your irresponsibility and your joy is not even present.
So I leave this letter in memory of the man you used to be ______________ 1999- 2003.Rest in peace
From 2003 certified alcoholic, the local ale drinking champion.
I used to cry those sombre tears, collecting them on my cheeks and clothing
Counting the number of times they appeared in reverence to you
I used to cry those sombre tears on night of prearranged dinners that always failed.
The sombre tears used to appear at Christmas time, when the food was oozing with my love pride and undivided attention.
But you’d stay up there enjoying some drunken stupor.
How many times?
Will I sit up waiting for you anxiously anticipating your death.
Night after night you swan out the door assured that I will be here on your return.
Is it purely based on my dependency on you for financial security?
Or do you deceive yourself and hope that I still love you.
I ponder sometimes over whether the alcohol has spared you any sense of feeling.
Your pride has been degraded even become unclassified, I propose it became lost the moment you were upgraded to certified alcoholic.
This brings me to the questions I began with.
How many times? How many times do I keep loving you? How many time can I stop loving you and the love be resuscitated
.
I leave your dinner on the table, my labour of love and you still eat it.
So tell me is it a sick appreciation you are showing by enjoying it or
Is it simply the hunger pulling at your stomach strings.
I mean just what is it that you do when your gone for hours on end
Are you drunk in a club somewhere? Drowning in your half achieved happiness
I have so many questions to ask , but I mince them when you clamber in bed beside me. Wreaking of the worlds vileness. You say Night dear so I suppose a shred of decency still lingers among what’s left of your alcohol destroyed brain.
As for during the day , I don’t see you ,your like a ghost in a B&B haunting at unsociable hours, disappearing like a vapour when I turn around. Your love almost ceases to exist in the face of your irresponsibility and your joy is not even present.
So I leave this letter in memory of the man you used to be ______________ 1999- 2003.Rest in peace
From 2003 certified alcoholic, the local ale drinking champion.
