What does it mean to be loved
What does it mean to be loved?
So tell me dear, what does it mean to be loved? As we sit hands distant eyes averted I realise this is not love. As the silence burrows its way between us effortlessly , I realise that this was never love. Remember the first day I met you , everything changed and I started wearing those rose tinted glasses, you were perfect you couldn’t go wrong rather than walking you floated , rather than talking you sung. Stealing my heart with every breath, robbing me every logicial thought. I look at you now and you just seem bitter, not twisted just slightly thwarted , different to the day I met you.You see I broke my glasses and had to go a couple of days seeing you normally, and those temporary days of normality, turned into a nightmare because I wondered if you really loved me and if I really cared that you might not.
I watch you honey as you sit there attacking yourself with logic, I survey your ice turned hands and wonder what it means to be loved. The first day I met you I hated you. I became attached you just for the ride, there was never an initial attraction. Do you understand that! My eyes scream at you wondering if you can read my thoughts. I sigh inwardly but after about a or day two I wondered what it meant to be loved because those feelings of hatred slowly dissolved. As I watched you make breakfast serenading the ingredients into the pan. You were so beautiful then I wish I could take a picture of those moments. You grew more subtle in your approach to the art of beauty and that excited me in a way I can’t explain but things began to disintegrate, you made breakfast with no feeling, but I still hung in there hoping that maybe things would click and fix themselves.
I venture back to the current moment in time your mouth makes signs of moving and I want to talk too so I open my mouth to and I blurt it out.
“I love ..”
“I don’t love”
“ You”
We stop frozen in the moment trying to take what each other just said .
My face falls and so does yours.
“Why the long face ,I am in love with you and you are not?”
“But you were not in love with me ever”
“I was in the beginning but then something happened you changed”
“So you liked me when I hated you”
Jay sighed.
“Lets mutually agree that there was love at some time and we should go back to the same way we were in the beginning and work from there”
“I don’t get it , but I am willing to try”
Jay moved from the table and walked outside the café with his head bent.
I sat there wondering what he was doing, the I remembered, I quickly followed
“Hi I am Namiana . You are?”
“Jay, nice to meet you”
So tell me dear, what does it mean to be loved? As we sit hands distant eyes averted I realise this is not love. As the silence burrows its way between us effortlessly , I realise that this was never love. Remember the first day I met you , everything changed and I started wearing those rose tinted glasses, you were perfect you couldn’t go wrong rather than walking you floated , rather than talking you sung. Stealing my heart with every breath, robbing me every logicial thought. I look at you now and you just seem bitter, not twisted just slightly thwarted , different to the day I met you.You see I broke my glasses and had to go a couple of days seeing you normally, and those temporary days of normality, turned into a nightmare because I wondered if you really loved me and if I really cared that you might not.
****
I watch you honey as you sit there attacking yourself with logic, I survey your ice turned hands and wonder what it means to be loved. The first day I met you I hated you. I became attached you just for the ride, there was never an initial attraction. Do you understand that! My eyes scream at you wondering if you can read my thoughts. I sigh inwardly but after about a or day two I wondered what it meant to be loved because those feelings of hatred slowly dissolved. As I watched you make breakfast serenading the ingredients into the pan. You were so beautiful then I wish I could take a picture of those moments. You grew more subtle in your approach to the art of beauty and that excited me in a way I can’t explain but things began to disintegrate, you made breakfast with no feeling, but I still hung in there hoping that maybe things would click and fix themselves.
I venture back to the current moment in time your mouth makes signs of moving and I want to talk too so I open my mouth to and I blurt it out.
“I love ..”
“I don’t love”
“ You”
We stop frozen in the moment trying to take what each other just said .
My face falls and so does yours.
“Why the long face ,I am in love with you and you are not?”
“But you were not in love with me ever”
“I was in the beginning but then something happened you changed”
“So you liked me when I hated you”
Jay sighed.
“Lets mutually agree that there was love at some time and we should go back to the same way we were in the beginning and work from there”
“I don’t get it , but I am willing to try”
Jay moved from the table and walked outside the café with his head bent.
I sat there wondering what he was doing, the I remembered, I quickly followed
“Hi I am Namiana . You are?”
“Jay, nice to meet you”
